Ice Skating, or lack of.

Yesterday I went ice skating. As soon as I told my mum I was going I could see the look of panic/horror spread across her face. As she and some of my more 'regualar readers' know I don't really give off an 'ice skater' vibe. It wasn't the first time I went ice skating, maybe the third or forth but from anyone observing me they would have thought I had never seen a sheet of ice in my life...
As me and my friends were walking up to the ice rink a thought occurred to me, how do you actually ice skate? It's not programed into our natural DNA and there is only so much Dancing On Ice can teach you. I put this question across to the group and my friend Meg replied with "You just kind of slide, it's like rollerskating". At this point I must add that last time I went rollerskating I nearly skidded into a main road and got hit by a van, luckily my friend caught me. "But I can't rollerskate" I replied the only phrase that Meg could think of that suited the moment was "oh dear" and she was right.

My first challenge was to put on my boots. This is a Blog in itself but I will try and condense it. Basically, after I had collected my boots of a tattooed and pierced 'youth' I found myself a place on the wooden benches and set about putting them on. First of all I had to get my head around how they actually went onto your foot. After secretly observing other people but theirs on I thought I had the knack of it. I didn't. It took me ten minutes of shouting, cursing, stamping, pulling and pushing to get my feet into the boots, they were a bit too big but I couldn't face putting another pair on so I hobbled off to find everyone else. I say hobbled because it is very difficult to walk on normal flooring with blades attached to your feet, why don't you just put the blades on before you step onto the ice? I think I'm the only sensible person on this planet.

At last it was time to get on the ice. Nervously I placed my right foot onto the rink, since when was ice so slippery? Then, I grabbed onto the bar for dear life and hauled my left foot up. For a few seconds I was paralysed, what could I do? I couldn't move, I couldn't go back and I defiantly couldn't 'just go' as the man behind me suggested. After spending a few minutes contemplating the value of life I started to slide myself forward. I slid my hand a few cementers along the bar then dragged my feet along to meet them. I did this for a whole lap- it took me at least 15 minutes.

My friend saw me struggling so she glided, yes glided, over to help me. She grabbed my arm, pulled me off the bar and dragged me round the ice. I have never been so scared in all my life. I was clutching onto her the whole time and screaming "We're going to die, stop, we're going to die!". In case you were wondering, we didn't die.

After 5 laps I was feeling a fraction more confident and started to shift my feet a little bit for myself rather than being pulled forward. Suddenly disaster struck, the two people in fornt of us slipped over and landed on the floor- how inconsiderate. This left us in an awkward situation because obviously it would be rude to skate over them but we didn't have enough time to stop. Then, without even asking my permission my friend let go off my arm and skated around them, this left me hurtling out of control around the other side of them, I was waving my arms around everywhere, desperately trying to stay upright. THUD! I hit the side bar. I had a massive stomach ache but I didn't care, I was still upright and I hadn't broken anything.

I decided it was selfish for my friend to be skating around with me for the whole time when she could clearly be jumping around at 100mph so I let her go. I wasn't on my own though another friend took me into her care, we skated around for a few laps but I think she then decided her limbs were more important than helping me to skate so she went off, I think I was becoming a liability.

Finally the man in charge shouted for everyone to get off the ice, well since I was around the other side of the rink it was another 10 minutes before I got off but still it was over. I was very pleased and as I hobbled back to the bench to remove my very fetching boots I realised, I didn't fall over! I may have caused several accidents but still, the First Aid man only had to come to one of them and I do rather think the lady was making too much fuss, it's only ice!

So, after recent events I can safely say that I will be crossing 'Proffesional Ice Skater' off my career list.

Blogs, or lack of.

Recently I have not been doing any blogs. There are several reasons why...

Firstly, I had my maths GCSE last week and up until then I was revising and this week I have been getting over the shock that it wasn't actually that hard (if I was superstitious now I would say 'touch wood' but I'm not). Secondly, for the last few days I have had loads of ridiculous  homework, mainly Geography. I hate Geography. All we seem to learn about is rocks and long shore drift, I know there is a lot more to Geography which is why my lessons are so frustrating. Then when he gives us homework it pushes me over the edge, if I have to see another 'rocks and their uses' worksheet again I might do something drastic.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, why I haven't been blogging lately. Thirdly, my mother has got this  idea in her head that I have to do more 'work around the house'. It's really fustrating because whenever I'm in the middle of doing something, e.g blogging, she shouts up the stairs "Saraaaaaaah, could you just do me these dishes please?" Or "Saraaaaaah have you got a minute?". Parents eh? Who'd have them?

Fourthly, I have been Christmas shopping. I know it's only November but that is very nearly December and I'm not taking any chances. I do not want to be the friend that gives everyone a half price box of chocolates because they left it too late and all the shops had sold out of everything good. So this year I'm planning ahead and I have got the vast majority of my Christmas presents bought already, and a birthday present. Yes, one of my friends had the clever idea of being born at the end of November so I always end up buying her Christmas present and birthday present at the same time. It's such a pain.

Fithly, I.... Oh dear. My mum has just summoned me, I better go or I won't get fed later.

Until next time, over and out.

Well, this is interesting...

I am going to be honest, I am writing this blog to procrastinate. I am meant to be doing some maths revision but to be honest I can think of a more exiting way to spend my Friday afternoon. Later on I am going to see Jekyll and Hyde the pantomime at my local theatre. I always thought Jekyll and Hyde was quite a serious play so how they have turned it into  a pantomime I don't know. Anyway, we have to go in Halloween fancy dress. Oh dear. I had absolutely nothing to wear until I found some pink tights with spiders on them that I forgot to wear last year in my wardrobe. Problem solved. So I am wearing a black dress, some tights that are now too small and a hat that has been in my wardrobe for so long it is all bent. I am sure I will win best dressed.

My friend Aimee is going to an actual party tonight so yesterday I kindly offered to help her make a costume. It was rather a success. We took one of her dad's old shirts and covered it in blood. Not real blood obviously, we used a mixture of crayon, red paint, red nail polish and glitter to create the full effect. We then cut around the edges to make it look like it had been ripped and then I signed it. Because it was my idea. I would put a picture on but you don't get the full effect unless someone is wearing it and because I listen in I.T I know you shouldn't put pictures of yourself on the Internet. I don't really know why... I stopped listening after 5 minutes.

By the way, if you read my last blog I need to tell you something... my pumpkin has died. It went all mouldy and stuff started to grow on it. It's now in it's final resting place- the bin.

I know this blog isn't very interesting, but hey, it's better than maths!

Unicycles and me

I love unicycles, in my opinion they are the best form of transport. Rushing through the open countryside, the wind blowing your hair as you glide along on your unicycle. Or not as the case may be. Try wobbeling around on the seat holding on the park railing for dear life.

 I love unicycles, don't get me wrong but I do find them... rather challenging shall we say. My first encountor with a unicycle came last Sunday. My friend Ellie was practically wizzing round on her's so I though, how hard can it be? Within five minutes I was all helmeted up and ready for action. The first challenge came when I had to try and get on the thing. Turns out there is quite a knack to it, although by the end of the day I was rather good at getting on, having fallen off so much, every cloud eh? Anyway, after several (hundred) attempts I finally sat on the unicycle, I was grabbing onto the park railings to keep myslef upright but I was definatly sitting on it.

Next it came to riding the thing, having watched Ellie for a few times I was confident I would be ok. I pushed the left pedal forwards, anticipating my first taste of riding a unicycle untill... thud. The unicycle went from undearneath me and I was stood, still holiding onto the railings, unicycleless. How embarrasing. However, I lost my dignity completly that day, considering how many times I fell off.

About half an hour later I could finally rotate the pedals once. What an achiment. Ellie by this time was wizzing around the park with no trouble at all. The rest of the people in the park gazed in awe at Ellie and laughed openly at me. Once I could do one roation I had a bit of a learning spurt and I was doing quite well, if I don't say so myself. Of course, my hands were sore from grabbing onto the railing so much. What? Did you think I was making all this progress un-aided? Of course not, the railings were there the whole time, I couldn't even sit on it without them. At one point I did manage to do a hundreth of a metre with one hand on Ellie's shoulder but I think it did her shoulder more harm than good...

Nearing the end of my unicycle experience I decided that I asked Ellie if she thought I could do it without the helmet she replied "No Sarah, I don't think that would be a good idea". So then we went home, Ellie unicycled the whole way, I was deemed to slow and unsafe for the roads. Charming.

I think the unicycles of the world are now glad I have finished... until next time unicycles, goodbye.

On a side note I must add, one improvment I would make to the unicycle, add another wheel. Several other wheels.

Wardrobe doors and me.

Me and wardrobe doors do not get on. Actualy, no, I make an effort to be friends they just don't like me. The thing is they always have to be awkward. For example, if it is two in the morning and I have accidently forgotten to do my homework and I need my book out of my wardrobe they are always closed. So, when I open them I make such a noise I wake everyone up (I'm not actualy that bothered about that, it's more that I fet found out for not doing my homework). They often make it twice as awkward my getting something stuck behind themseleves so they won't open without a lot of fuss.

However, if it has been a long day and I have just climbed into tp my lovely warm bed, they are open, as wide as a black whole. So I have to drag myself out of bed to close them, and believe me they don't close without a fuss. I think they know that I can't sleep with them open so as soon as they see me getting into bed theh turn into ninjas and open.

So there you are, wardrobe doors hate me, and that is the end of this very interesting blog.

P.s Dear wardrobe doors,
I never liked you anyway.