This is a very boring blog

**If you read my last blog I thought you might like to know my book is no more. I started to write it on a draft email because I don't have Microsoft Word on my laptop, my email then decided that it was going to create an 'unknown error' and it won't let me view the message. Technology has failed me again.**

I don't really know what this blog is about so I'm just going to ramble until I have filled enough space for this to be a decent length, I apologise if it is extremely boring. Today my English classroom got new chairs and tables. This may seem like an everyday occurrence until I tell you that the chairs are MULTI-COLOURED! They are the coolest thing ever, I sat on a green one, it was great. Although they might be the best thing my school has ever spent money on, the aren't very academic are they? They're not really going to get us better grades at GCSE and they aren't really helping our 'life skills' but hey, they are MULTI-COLOURED CHAIRS!

Today I had P:E and we had to do circuit training. This does mean however,  I actually did any circuit training. Don't get me wrong, i did try to do all the activities but after about 20 seconds I just gave up, too much pain, not enough gain. I attempted to do press-ups, I will never attempt to do them again. Why were these dreadful things invented? I thought everyone would be as bad as me but no, they weren't. After I had finished my set someone a lot fitter than me had a go. It really did put me to shame- she just kept going! No sign of tiring just an even rhythm; one, two, three four, five..... Mine however was more like; one, have a break, two, contemplate the existence of life, three, oh dear the whistles gone.

By the way, I have a German exam coming up (not that you care) so please expect a rant about that, possibly within the hour as I am about to start revising now- I need a good head start. This time we have to write an essay, learn it, then speak it to our teachers in a 'controlled environment'. What a load of rubbish. Yes, by the end I will be able to tell you all about what I did last weekend in German but is that really going to help me in life? Wouldn't it be better to make us learn more useful things like how to say "I need an ambulance" or "My house is on fire" or "Please officer it wasn't me".

I think they should put me in charge of all exams- and on that scary mental image, goodbye!

SOPA and PIPA

Over the past few days there has been Internet rumours about SOPA and PIPA and how they could destroy the Internet and so on. I thought this was just a rumour until... WIKIPEDIA CLOSED! It's not forever and technically it's just being "Blacked out" but still, NO WIKIPEDIA! I think the point of it is that we learn what it would be like if this SOPA and PIPA thing went ahead but I'm not really sure .

This leads nicely on to my next point (see, I do 'plan' these blogs) what actually is SOPA and PIPA? I know it's something to do with copyright and if it went ahead there wouldn't be any twitter/YouTube/Facebook/wikipedia but what actually is it? If someone reading this knows please could they comment and tell me because I'm SO CONFUSED!

Also, yesterday it was all about SOPA and PIPA but today everything seems to just be about SOPA so has PIPA been cancelled? Or doesn't it matter? Or has everyone just forgotten about it?

I need answers please, I don't understand what's going on!

Please don't kill me

I am writing a book, don't shoot me. I have always said that I couldn't write a book because I would get half way through then get board and stop. I did once write the first bit of a book but my computer crashed and I lost it, that's why I hate technology. Anyway, I am writing a book despite the fact I will probably get board and a piece technology of I need to write it on will die I am going to do it- so there. I have written the first paragraph of the first chapter (I know, I  work at speed) and I might put it on here once I have edited it and got a piece of technology to check the spelling (the version of Microsoft Word I have on my laptop wont check spelling- bizarre).

On a side note, I am ill.

On another side note, I had to do a form assembly today on Martin Luther King; great man, awful assembly. I had to read a paragraph about The Civil Rights Movement, my form teacher had written it terribly so I wrote it again myslef- can't get the staff these days.

Wild at Heart

I love Wild at Heart. Please don't stop reading this blog and send me 3000 hate messages, I don't think it's a good program at all, it's not well made, it's unrealistic and the acting isn't that brilliant either. The thing is, I think it's really entertaining to watch, the bad camera angles make it funny, the script is so far fetched it's funny and the actings so bad it's almost good (if you see what I mean?). It's like the program is making fun of itself and that's what makes it perfect Sunday night television. You have to watch the 'oh so seriouse' Dancing On Ice but then sandwiched in the middle is the light hearted happy go lucky Wild at Heart. I think that's what is missing from todays television a bit of fun, they take everything so seriously, we need more programs like Wild at Heart; being chased by real life Elephants, having a leapord living in the house, a family that's almost too perfect and of course, a happy ending. 

That twitter thing

Hello everyone!

Yesterday I made a brave decission, I created a twitter account. You can follow me @teenagedazeblog and there is a link on my profile. For those of you who don't know what twitter is it's basically a website where you can share you latest thoughts and what you are doing in 140 charactors or less- this is known as a tweet. You might have noticed you see hashtags at the start of program such as Have I Got News For You (#hignfy) this is to tell people if they add this to their tweets people know what your tweeting about and if enough people tweet it it 'trends'. So far I have 11 followers but I've only been on it 24 hours, I think I'm doing rather well.

I am planning a 'twitter for idiots' blog soon so watch out for that and I'll see you on twitter...

(I know most people know what twitter is but I know for a fact I have several readers who aren't quite in the 'modern age' yet).

Ice Skating, or lack of.

Yesterday I went ice skating. As soon as I told my mum I was going I could see the look of panic/horror spread across her face. As she and some of my more 'regualar readers' know I don't really give off an 'ice skater' vibe. It wasn't the first time I went ice skating, maybe the third or forth but from anyone observing me they would have thought I had never seen a sheet of ice in my life...
As me and my friends were walking up to the ice rink a thought occurred to me, how do you actually ice skate? It's not programed into our natural DNA and there is only so much Dancing On Ice can teach you. I put this question across to the group and my friend Meg replied with "You just kind of slide, it's like rollerskating". At this point I must add that last time I went rollerskating I nearly skidded into a main road and got hit by a van, luckily my friend caught me. "But I can't rollerskate" I replied the only phrase that Meg could think of that suited the moment was "oh dear" and she was right.

My first challenge was to put on my boots. This is a Blog in itself but I will try and condense it. Basically, after I had collected my boots of a tattooed and pierced 'youth' I found myself a place on the wooden benches and set about putting them on. First of all I had to get my head around how they actually went onto your foot. After secretly observing other people but theirs on I thought I had the knack of it. I didn't. It took me ten minutes of shouting, cursing, stamping, pulling and pushing to get my feet into the boots, they were a bit too big but I couldn't face putting another pair on so I hobbled off to find everyone else. I say hobbled because it is very difficult to walk on normal flooring with blades attached to your feet, why don't you just put the blades on before you step onto the ice? I think I'm the only sensible person on this planet.

At last it was time to get on the ice. Nervously I placed my right foot onto the rink, since when was ice so slippery? Then, I grabbed onto the bar for dear life and hauled my left foot up. For a few seconds I was paralysed, what could I do? I couldn't move, I couldn't go back and I defiantly couldn't 'just go' as the man behind me suggested. After spending a few minutes contemplating the value of life I started to slide myself forward. I slid my hand a few cementers along the bar then dragged my feet along to meet them. I did this for a whole lap- it took me at least 15 minutes.

My friend saw me struggling so she glided, yes glided, over to help me. She grabbed my arm, pulled me off the bar and dragged me round the ice. I have never been so scared in all my life. I was clutching onto her the whole time and screaming "We're going to die, stop, we're going to die!". In case you were wondering, we didn't die.

After 5 laps I was feeling a fraction more confident and started to shift my feet a little bit for myself rather than being pulled forward. Suddenly disaster struck, the two people in fornt of us slipped over and landed on the floor- how inconsiderate. This left us in an awkward situation because obviously it would be rude to skate over them but we didn't have enough time to stop. Then, without even asking my permission my friend let go off my arm and skated around them, this left me hurtling out of control around the other side of them, I was waving my arms around everywhere, desperately trying to stay upright. THUD! I hit the side bar. I had a massive stomach ache but I didn't care, I was still upright and I hadn't broken anything.

I decided it was selfish for my friend to be skating around with me for the whole time when she could clearly be jumping around at 100mph so I let her go. I wasn't on my own though another friend took me into her care, we skated around for a few laps but I think she then decided her limbs were more important than helping me to skate so she went off, I think I was becoming a liability.

Finally the man in charge shouted for everyone to get off the ice, well since I was around the other side of the rink it was another 10 minutes before I got off but still it was over. I was very pleased and as I hobbled back to the bench to remove my very fetching boots I realised, I didn't fall over! I may have caused several accidents but still, the First Aid man only had to come to one of them and I do rather think the lady was making too much fuss, it's only ice!

So, after recent events I can safely say that I will be crossing 'Proffesional Ice Skater' off my career list.

New Years Eve

Happy new year everybody! 2012- we're getting on a bit now aren't we? However you celebrated I hope you had a great New Years Eve and today I am going to tell you a bit about mine.

6:45pm: Family W and Family M arrive note, I am using code names because the internet is a dangerous place. The families are welcomed into my house by my mad dog and even madder family.

7pm: Everyone is settled down with a drink, I swear my mother bought all the drinks in Tesco so there was 'plenty of options'. The presents are distributed between the children, we have our presents from Family W and Family M at new year because... because... well I don't really know why to be honest.

8pm: Food time! We had a Chinese takeaway because we like to live life on the edge at my house. I have fried rice, lemon chicken, duck and chips and I just keep filling my bowl up with those things until I physically can't eat anything else. My brother bought up the topic of how conjoined twins go to the toilet, just a normal family meal time really.

8:30pm: Finally, finally, they let us have pudding. We had Baileys cheesecake, meringues and trifle. I had meringues because I refuse to have pudding with alcohol in it and I really don't understand the concept of trifle. Why do people feel the need to mix about ten different puddings into the same bowl? My brother, on the other hand, thinks it's a gift from God himself.

9pm: The children had a nerve fight. For those of you who are not 'down with the kids' I'd better explain; basically you have a plastic gun that fires foam darts out of it and you have to run wildly round the house shooting people. Needless to say this game has been banned many times.

10:30pm: The infamous quiz took place. We take 'The Quiz' very seriously on new years eve. My mum puts questions in each of the rooms downstairs in our house and you and your partner have to go round answering all the questions. Unfortunately, this can get a little out of hand, past incidence include: Stealing helpful books from the bookshelf, riping the questions up, hiding the questions and Googling questions (this year my mum turned the Internet off just in case).

Midnight: At midnight we had sparklers and the traditional game of midnight football, please tell me everybody does this?

1am: We had a dancing competition on the Wii. I was just thinking, when you are on a game like that you do everything it tells you, regardless of how stupid you look. If it tells you to shimmy, you shimmy, no questions asked.

2am: Everybody went home and I went to bed, too much excitement for one night.